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Kiss the Girl (Secretary Bird version)
Later that evening, Rei and Kilala rode in a wooden rowboat down a quiet blue lagoon. By now, the two of them had enjoyed a wonderful time while doing the tour. However, Rei still didn't kiss Kilala out of love. So now, Kilala was close to one day remaining. Nearby, Simba, Flower, and Timon watched from a safe distance. "Move over," Simba whispered. "Move your big tail." "Simba and I can't see a thing." added Flower, whispering. Timon looked downcast. "Nothing is happening." he said, "Only one day left, and that boy ain't puckered up once. O.K. All right, this calls for a little vocal romantic stimulation." He climbed up to an overhead branch and landed, scattering Zazu and some bluebirds who were enjoying Rei and Kilala being together. "Stand back." said the meerkat. After clearing his throat, Timon started singing, but his singing was not very good, nor was it romantic like he perceived. Below him, Rei and Kilala continued their ride in the boat. Rei heard Timon's poor singing voice. "Wow," he said. "Somebody should find that poor animal and put it out of its misery." Kilala saw Timon singing above them and felt embarrassed. Timon winked at the princess, but she did not feel comfortable at all with the meerkat's singing she just gave him an uncomfortable smile and looked away, hiding her face in her hands. Secretary Bird was also on the boat and, he didn’t like Timon's singing either. Secretary Bird was covering his invisible ears and glaring at Timon. "Jeez, man," said the bird, rolling his eyes. "I'm surrounded by amateurs!" Annoyed with Timon and knowing how to handle romantic music properly, Secretary Bird got into the water and grabbed a small petal of underwater reed grass, saying, "You want something done, you've got to do it yourself." He came back a few seconds later with several monkeys and rhinoceroses. He held the reed like a baton, announcing, "First, we got to create the mood. Percussion. . . ." Knowing what to do, the rhinoceroses flipped on their backs, allowing the monkey to tap their bellies like they were playing drums. "Strings. . . ." the bird said, as he directed towards some zebras. "Winds. . . ." Secretary Bird said, as cattails rustled in the wind, creating a flute-like sound. "Words. . . ." Secretary Bird finished, and he began to serenade the young couple. With everyone ready and playing the quiet romantic tune, Secretary Bird started singing. Secretary Bird: There, you see her Sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say But there's something about her Rei perked up a bit at the mention of Secretary Bird's words. Kilala looked around, and her eyes widened when she slightly turned to be met with Secretary Bird and became worried. Secretary Bird: And you don't know why But you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl Secretary Bird whispered the last line into the schoolboy's ear before he flew away. Rei quickly turned his head to see what he had heard. "Did you hear something?" he asked. Kilala just shrugged her shoulders innocently and shook her head. Soon after, Secretary Birds resumed his singing with the monkeys and rhinoceroses now joining him. Secretary Bird: Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do Rei looked at the princess, who was playing with a strand of her hair. She looked sad. When she caught him looking at her, he smiled, and all sadness disappeared from her face. She smiled back. Secretary Bird: Possible she wants you, too There is one way to ask her Secretary Bird's choir continued to grow with the addition of some lions (except Simba and Nala). Secretary Bird: You don't take a word Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl Kilala leaned in with her full lips puckered, hoping that Rei would kiss her. Just before their lips touched, Rei pulled back. Secretary Bird, on a lily pad, poked his head underwater and directed towards some underwater locals. Secretary Bird: (spoken) Sing with me now. Some peacocks, riding on the boat oars, sang along as well. Secretary Bird and peacocks: Sha la la la la la My, oh my Looks like the boy's too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl Kilala placed her hand on her face in boredom. Peacocks: Sha la la la la la Secretary Bird came in, surrounded by Kovu, Kiara, and Rafiki, and sang for the peacocks. Secretary Bird: Ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad! He's gonna miss the girl As the tune went on, Rei spoke to Kilala. "You know, I feel really bad not knowing your name." he said, "Hey, maybe I could guess." He laid back calmly and started brainstorming ideas. "Is it...err...Satsuki?" Kilala pulled a face and stuck out her tongue in disgust, making Rei laugh. "O.K., no." he said. Then he suggested some other names. "How about...Nariko?" Kilala shook her head no. "Yoko?" "Kilala. Her name is Kilala." Secretary Bird whispered from underneath the side of the boat. "Kilala?" the schoolboy responded to the voice, but the princess across from him began nodding her head excitedly. "Kilala?" Rei asked in an excited, yet quiet, tone of voice. Kilala grabbed his hand and nodded more. "Well, that's kinda pretty." the schoolboy smiled. He had no desire to pull his hand away from hers and he placed his other hand on top of hers. "OK," said Rei. "Kilala." Satisfied that he now knew her name, Rei resumed in staring at her. By now, Rei stopped rowing the boat and allowed the current flowing in the lake to move it. The rowboat rode under a willow tree as two herons pulled some of the vegetation out of the way so they could get into it. Secretary Bird: Now's your moment (Ya, ya, ya) Floating in a blue lagoon (Ya, ya, ya) Boy, you'd better do it soon No time will be better (Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya) Secretary Bird appeared from underwater while singing his verse. A group of small gazelles jumped out of the water, each singing a note above his head. Secretary Bird: She don't say a word And she won't say a word Until you kiss the girl Soon, a large group of crocodiles, including a peacock, some gazelles, and a rhinoceros, swam up to the boat and started circling around the boat and began to sing along with Secretary Bird. Secretary Bird and African Animals: Sha la la la la la Don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl (Whoa, whoa!) Fireflies were flying around the couple and brightening their lights much brighter than ever before. A smile grew from both Rei and Kilala's faces as they stared at each other. Even though she couldn't talk, Rei could tell that she really liked him just as much as he liked her. Secretary Bird and African Animals: Sha la la la la la Don't stop now Don't try to hide it how You wanna kiss the girl (Whoa, whoa!) Some elephants and some gazelles were singing the song, As the giraffes were dancing and singing, Timon walked right in front of them and cut them off by singing his terrible croaking song from earlier. They grabbed his mouth to shut him up, and they resumed singing. Giraffes: Sha la la la la la Float along And listen to the song The song say kiss the girl (Whoa, whoa!) A group of gazelles, Simba, and Flower tagging along, came from underneath the boat and started to squirt water like a fountain from out of their mouths. Rei and Kilala stared at each other even harder than before. Neither of them could deny that they had developed feelings for each other. He liked her, and she liked him. Secretary Bird and African Animals: Sha la la la la The music play Do what the music say You gotta kiss the girl By now, Rei and Kilala started slowly moving towards each other. Some giraffes whispered. Secretary Bird and African Animals: Kiss the girl Zazu and some bluebirds chirped excitedly as the two got closer. Secretary Bird and African Animals: You wanna kiss the girl Some meerkats on an elephant and some zebras puckered their lips. Secretary Bird and African Animals: You've gotta kiss the girl Some monkeys waited anxiously for the two to kiss as Secretary Bird grabbed Timon's neck and started shaking it watched with much anticipation. Secretary Bird: GO ON AND-'' All: ''Kiss the girl But just as it seemed the two were going to kiss, the boat suddenly flipped over, sending the two into the water. Secretary Bird slapped himself in the face with his palm and groaned in frustration, and Timon's mouth fell open as Zazu and the birds squawked awkwardly as they flew away from the wreck. The elephants and rhinoceroses retreated, as if all of their work was ruined before them. "Whoa! Hang on!" Rei called, lifting Kilala up out of the water, "I've gotcha!" Category:Fan Fiction Category:Hero/Heroine Songs Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs Category:Songs